Friday, November 12, 2010

Can't we just SKIP the month of December

Seriously? Why do the holidays always put in a place that I feel I can't get out of? Went to Target today and could feel the anxiety build as everywhere you turn

 bam Christmas stuff,

 bam little blond haired blued eyed girls,

 bam Christmas kids colthes.

I could feel the ache in my chest, the tears start to form, the urge to just run away screaming. I never got the chance to shower Mckenna with gifts, I never got the chance to see her face light up with excitment from a new toy, I never got to start a tradition. Christmas should be a happy time of year a time when family gets together, making new memories. Everywhere I turn it slaps me in the face and I can feel her absence all around me. My arms are empty, my heart is broken and I can feel the darkness fall apon me. Oh how I wish I could just sleep through December and wake up like it never happened. All I want for Chrismas is my daughter back, oh only if there was a real Santa Claus..........

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