Learning to Let Go

I started this blog 11 years ago! I would love to get back to writing more. Used to love to write and express my thoughts, emotions and life experiences. It’s very vulnerable to do this type of writing but one of the things I am working on personally is letting go of what others think about me. One of the quotes I heard from AA is "what other people think of me is none of my business." It’s not easy but necessary for my mental health.

I wrote down some intentions for 2022 and Matt pointed out to me that what I put down aren’t exactly measurable. So, I had to think deeply about what those intentions looked like. One of the intentions was to learn to let go. Since that one is not measurable, thought I would share why it’s on my list.

I have a tendency of holding onto what others may think about me, the person they think I am and my intentions. The key word is may think of me. I assume a lot and that gets me into trouble with my thoughts. I get in my head and my thoughts get consumed and obsessed with my assumptions. I have always been the type to hate when someone doesn’t like me. I always feel I have done something wrong, said something wrong and can’t let it go. It is especially painful when I have done something and there is no fixing it. How do you let go when there is no resolve? How do you move forward when you know how someone feels about you and it’s nothing but hate? That is why it’s an intention. It is out of my control and none of my business. What is my business is learning and growing so I am a better human. What is my business is knowing who I am and believing it. What is my business is my family and what I bring to their life. Allowing others to make me not want to live because I feel I am a horrible person needs to be a thing of the past. I am very emotional and sensitive so it makes it challenging to stand in my truth and let things roll off my back. But if I do not learn this huge lesson I will never fully grow.

2021 was a year of a lot of challenges and loss. Loss of Ellis and another pregnancy, loss of a friend, loss of our sweet Vander. I have had worse years in my life but last year proved to me the kind of person I am growing to be. I never want to get bitter, angry, distant, mean by what life tends to throw at me. I want each experience to shape me to be more compassionate, empathetic, kind, generous. Mostly to be kind and compassionate to myself. And that begins with letting go and remembering what others think of me is none of my business. Here is to a healthier version of who I am.

What are some intentions you made for yourself in the new year?

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