Today as I was visiting Mckenna I watched a father tend to his son's grave. It struck me and I couldn't help but watch this father showing his love for his son. He was cutting the grass around the headstone making sure it was perfectly cut, putting everything in its place, moving things around just a bit to make it perfect. I found this so touching and yet so heartbreaking. This is his way to parent the son who is no longer here for him to parent. When he was finished he took a step back looking up at the sky, then looking at his son's spot rubbing his eyes fighting back the tears. I felt like I should look away because this was his time with his son and so personal but my heart broke for him. This is not the way things are supposed to be. Your not supposed to bury your child they are supposed to bury you, your not supposed to make sure their graves are perfectly kept and well cared for your supposed to watch them grow. It is so unfair on so many levels that he has to go visit his son's grave, that I have to visit Mckenna's grave, that I have had to see 3 babies burried next to Mckenna in 2 1/2 years. My heart breaks for each and every one who has lost a child, because it is a pain that is undescribable, unimaginable, and forever lasting. Thinking about this father who has to go to bed tonight without his son.
Growing up I went to my Nana and Papa's house frequently. She would keep us weeks at a time in the summers. Nana was for a grandmother but also didn't take any back talk or attitude. When I was 10 years old, I moved in with Nana and Papa. My room was downstairs, without a door and had the washer and dryer in the room. Eventually they put on saloon like doors for a little privacy. I lived there until I turned 13. Big years living with your grandparents. Vital years really, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I always felt connected to my Nana. We were a lot a like. I still wonder what she would think of me now and how I turned out. I would help around the property, help plant cactus (and laugh hysterically together after because we were so sweaty and gross), helped feed the animals, water the trees, water the plants, ride my bike all the time. I actually played out doors every day. Sometimes I was allowed to eat ice cream for dinner when no one wanted to c...
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