This year has been filled with growth beyond anything I would have ever thought possible 4 years ago. This year has given me the chance to feel, to be loved unconditionally, to trust and to become. I am not the same person I was 4 years ago, I am not even the same person I was a year ago. Mckenna’s birthday has been rough this year, but I have allowed myself to feel it and sit with it, without it taking over my existence. A couple weeks ago for the first time I think ever since I started on this grief journey I stayed in bed and cried on and off all day long. If anyone really knows me, knows that me doing this is a rather HUGE deal. A year ago I would not have even consider letting the tears come in fear of what they would bring, pain, but I got through it and the tears did not kill me and the pain did not devour me. I allowed the tears and pain to come because I have the right to grieve. As I was laying there I realized I was wiping my tears away with my dead child’s pajam...
Life as it Happens