Going into this journey of being mindful and in the moment by hiking barefoot was done with alot of thought. When I first heard about it I was like no way that is crazy but as I thought about it more I thought what a great thing that must be, to just be in the moment. So I decided I would try this adventure with an open mind and it was an experience like no other. Starting out it wasn't so bad yes it hurt a little bit but we soon came to realize was that the ground was EXTREMELY HOT! The trail got more rocky and harder as we went higher. And my feet began to really feel each and every rock and how hot the ground really was. On this trail I was told it was alot like grief. So as we are climbing I am thinking of this( even though your supposed to be in the moment ) and it is so very true. Each step I took had a different feeling sometimes it hurt like hell, then other times it wasn't so bad I could stand the pain, then it would almost bring me to tears. We had hot, rocky, and painful stretches till we saw shade that shade became our saving grace it gave us time to breathe and gain enough strenghth to face the next stretch till the next shady spot. That is a lot like grief you walk along the path and there are times that it burns your feet, it hurts like hell, makes you want to cry and you don't think you can take another step, then comes the shade the shade helps you regain the momentum to continue down the path. We went as far as I could till I said I can't go any further so we sat and talked and took in the scenery. When we started back down this trail my feet were so sore from the journey I couldn't continue I went as far as my feet allowed me and had to wait till my saving grace rescued me with my shoes. My shoes were the cushion that helped me down the rest of the path when my feet weren't able to carry me barefoot. The shoes are like the support from the people you need in that moment of pain. I am so glad I did the barefoot walk about it gave me a chance to see that I CAN go down this path of grief and hit the hot, rocky, painful parts and continue through the pain till I hit the shady parts and take a moment to breathe and sit with the pain even though I made need a cushion along the way. I WILL do this again and next time I WILL make it to the top.Thanks Joanne.
Today I have been reflecting on the last week I had with Mckenna. It seems like I can recall every detail of the last week I had her in my arms and thought I would share my last week. My last day with Mckenna Sat Sept 20th : Billy had Mckenna that weekend but left her with Tammy to come move our stuff into storage. I missed her but thankful to have someone to watch her while we moved MOST of our stuff. Sun Sept 21st, 2008 : I worked that day and couldn't wait to get off work because I was getting Mckenna back. Billy dropped her off at my work I waited with her outside for Mare to get done because we rode together. She was happy to see her mommy. Mon Sept 22nd, 2008 : I had started this class at Pheonix college for my CCT at work so I could draw blood and put in and take out foley's. Mare couldn't watch her that day so my friend Lisa took the day off work to watch her for me. I had to wake up extra early to get ready just in case Mckenna was up earlier ...
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