What's that I hear....SENIOR year!!!!

Two years ago I walked into an advisors office at ASU to talk about where to begin the process of getting into ASU's Social Work Program. What classes I needed, what to do to get in, the path of when I will be taking each class and what semester. I looked at that and saw the year I will be finished with my BSW and thought to myself, that's so far away. Well I am now starting my senior year and in 9 short months I will offically be a social worker. I can't not explain in words how incredibly excited (bittersweet) and proud I am. When I walk across that stage in May I am going to be filled with such emotion, because it's not just a degree for me, my internship is not just an internship, its so much bigger than that. The blood, sweat and TEARS I have been through to get to this place in my life is a BIG deal. It is an acomplishment that last year I never thought I would achieve. I am so blessed to have people in my life that saw in my eyes the pain I so desperatly tried to hide, the pain that almost took my life. Those people pulled me out of my dark hole and believed in me enough to encourage me, be proud of me and help me see in myself what they saw/see in me. I am walking with my head a little higher, a smile on my face and a support system by my side (2, 4, 6, 8..........) ;-) .

I have my motivation tattooed on my back and she is giving me more and more signs to show me she is by my side. I have an amazing daughter and I am proud to be her mother. Senior year HERE I COME!!!! ;-)

I've been told this recently (You know who you are) ;-) M-bug. k.s.j.y thank you all <3

Comments

Graduation, Weeping Willows and Love

I have often thought about the analogy of trees and wind. Trees need to be flexible when the winds blow or they would break and not survive the storm. Rigid, stubborn trees trying hard to go against the wind grow tired, weary and broken. Fluid and flexible trees go with the flow of the wind, bending and bouncing back after a storm. When I began my journey of becoming a social worker I was the stubborn rigid tree trying hard to control everything around me falling apart in the process. This became more of a challenge than allowing the wind to do what it does and go with whatever direction it goes. It was exhausting. I would come unhinged quickly, shut down and not stay with my emotions. Friends have told me that they saw it happen right before their eyes. 2 years ago I started the MSW program. I was fragile, unstable, rigid, shut down, broken and lost. I never thought the day would come for me to get my Master’s. Graduation felt like a million years away. Every class...

I Would Have a 7 Year old...Sigh

I would have a 7 year old, a 7 year old!! Sometimes that thought fills my heart with sadness. How could she be dead? How could my baby girl be dead? I watched a short video of her last night and it’s hard to believe that she was mine. It’s hard to believe that I gave birth to this amazing, beautiful, curious, old soul. I have often said I can’t imagine my life without Mckenna. I live everyday without her. I still cannot visualize never having her, never knowing her, never holding her, kissing her, loving her, as my life would not be the same without her ever existing. I may not have made the best decision staying with my ex husband back when I knew he cheated, however, if I had left him then I would have never had her. That is not a thought I can even begin to imagine. I would make the same choice if I had to live it again because she was worth the pain I went through all those years. I miss my daughter, I miss being her mom, I miss my life as a her mom, she was my pa...

Closing the Book of my Childhood...

Growing up I went to my Nana and Papa's house frequently. She would keep us weeks at a time in the summers. Nana was for a grandmother but also didn't take any back talk or attitude. When I was 10 years old, I moved in with Nana and Papa. My room was downstairs, without a door and had the washer and dryer in the room. Eventually they put on saloon like doors for a little privacy. I lived there until I turned 13. Big years living with your grandparents. Vital years really, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I always felt connected to my Nana. We were a lot a like. I still wonder what she would think of me now and how I turned out. I would help around the property, help plant cactus (and laugh hysterically together after because we were so sweaty and gross), helped feed the animals, water the trees, water the plants, ride my bike all the time. I actually played out doors every day. Sometimes I was allowed to eat ice cream for dinner when no one wanted to c...

Ladybug Landing

Search This Blog