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If You Really Knew Me

If you really knew me you would know that:


1. I MISS my daughter EVERYDAY!!!!
2. I can put on a smile though I am dying inside.
3. I am funny (sometimes)
4. I am sensitive to words.
5. I love deeply.
6. I am shy.
7. I can sit in silence for hours and not notice the quiet.
8. I don't cry very easily at sad, happy, bittersweet movies.
9. I am very independent.
10. I miss the old days.
11. I struggle with judgement.
12. I avoid painful memories.
13. I don't cry often.
14. I love romantice comedy movies.
15. I love Disney movies. (Belle is my favorite)
16. I don't like steak.
17. I don't like bacon.
18. I love to cook (but don't anymore).
19. I sleep with Mckenna's pajama's every night and don't travel anywhere without them in my carry-on.
20. I care too much
21. I worry about what other people think.
22. I struggle working at PCH more often than people know.
23. Sometimes I have anxiety when it rains
24. I forgive but NEVER forget
25. I am a deep thinker
26. I over analyze EVERYTHING
27. I love to take self pics with my friends
28. I do an airplane dance when I'm drunk
29. I like wine
30. I MISS my daughter EVERYDAY!!!!!!
31. I have 5 nephews and 2 nieces
32. I have a baby brother
33. My dad died the day before my 14th birthday
35. I only lost 2 baby teeth on my own
36. I get cold easily
37. I love to sit around a camp fire and talk about random things
38. I love to camp
39. I love the ocean
40. Scary movies don't scare me
41. I sleep walk almost every night
42. I MISS my daughter EVERYDAY!!!!!
43. Last year was a rough and scary year
44. I don't want a dog or cat or any kind of animal right now
45. I don't believe I will ever have more kids or get married and I am content with that
46. I love rollercoasters
47. I can get very emotional when I drink
48. I think people like me more when I'm drunk than when I am sober
49. I love cereal
50. I MISS my daughter EVERYDAY!!!!!
51. The majority of my friends are many years older than me
52. I get lonely sometimes
53. I have been skydiving
54. I used to live with my Nana
55. I lived in Colorado Springs
56. I wore braces for 5 years
57. I'm not afraid to die
58. I used to write 9-10 page letters to a friend in Tucson and saved them all
59. I left home when I was 17
60. I was married at 18
61. I MISS my daughter EVERYDAY!!!!
62. I've been to Australia
63. I can support myself
64. I work full time and go to school full time
65. I miss my Nana
66. I own my own car

The list could keep going and going. I have been wanting to make a list like this for a long time. One thing that stays the same is that I MISS my daughter EVERYDAY!! Another thing is that it is amazing writing all of this down and realizing just how much I have done in my life and how much of the list has made you who I am today. If you really knew me you would know that I am doing the best I can to live my life and discover who I am. It is not easy, so have patience with me and my growing process.

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