Ladybug Landing

Not even really sure where to begin on explaining this new adventure I am going to be embarking on (fingers crossed anyway). After the summer I had I had to dig deep and figure out how I was going to “pull up my boot straps” as my mom would say. How I was going to not let the magnitude of so many overwhelming, scary, sad, terrible things that happen devour my existence. Well when I put it out there that I day dream of attending the University of Houston for my masters in social work, I got a response that I wasn't expecting. I guess that was my push to really research and figure out how to pull it off.  Would I really be able to attend a college out of state??? Could I really move to a city on my own not knowing anyone??? Can I really do this??? Well I have not felt so drawn to something like this is a long time. That overwhelming force of, “that is where you are meant to go” feeling I get when I push and challenge myself. I figure if I can work in the sa

Hi my name is Ashley and I am a mother, daughter, sister, niece, cousin, aunt and friend. I am sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily. I am respectful of my elders and to people in general. I am a loyal and honest friend who would drop what I am doing to come help you. I am broken hearted and sad most of the time. I day dream about the future, but question if I will live long enough to experience it. I sometimes don’t feel worthy of love. I often wonder who would love me and why would they love me. I question where I belong in this world. I have friends, but each of us are in different places in our lives that it’s hard to know where I fit into their lives, and theirs into mine.  I’m a bereaved mom. I try very hard to live this life and become someone and make a life for myself that doesn’t always reflect the fact that I have a dead daughter. I am discovering that, that is impossible. I have a dead daughter and that isn’t going to change. She is my life and how can I ha